All Over With KOD: Gender Guide To Congratulating Friends On Their Nuptials

Photo culled from- Livefmghana.com

How deeply odd, that a day Ghallywood’s favorite partner boy, John Dumelo, is announced to be “off a market” would be a day masked by a fury surrounding a uninspired unsolicited Facebook proclamation of a pronounced rendezvous by one of his attention friends. For me, that was a initial sign, that something was “bigly” wrong somewhere. But we will leave a celebration report sites to dally in that business for now.

By now, I’m certain we have all been arcane to a Facebook post by “ace” Ghanaian TV/Radio uncover host, Kweku Okyere Darko, popularly famous as KOD. The post sought to:

  1. Show his fad for this all-time critical preference John Dumelo had made.
  2. Congratulate him for it.

Which was all excellent and cozy, even amidst a overly pretended fixing of himself with JD as a “friend and brother.”

This clearly submissive post was immediately injured by a brief divide that needlessly roped in a poke during singular Ghanaian women whom KOD easily referred to as “women who are all over.” According to KOD, who also ironically self-identifies as a “Women and Children’s Advocate” per his stream Facebook profile, John Dumelo’s choice of a lady who isn’t “known” or in a open space, should learn women an critical doctrine on how to acquire a ring from a Ghanaian man.

The post was immediately pounded head-on by both masculine and womanlike Facebook and amicable media users including his associate womanlike colleagues in a industry. we privately wouldn’t have even worried to criticism on this emanate had we not seen with my possess eyes, KOD consistently urge that post, ignoring a bulk of rabble it finished him appear.

My bulletin currently in this essay is to use KOD, his hapless and overly-simplistic post about Ghanaian organisation and women and a ubiquitous reactions of Ghanaian Facebook users to once again display a appearing gender predicament in a society, even amidst countless strides chalked over a years with Gender advocacy.

If we would all remember vividly, late final year in September, a organisation of passionate, vibrant, and intelligent immature women flush on a amicable media landscape generating vehement conversations on gender underneath a crush tab #PepperDemMinistries

The group’s try during exposing how poisonous a long-held narratives and socialization manners are, adopted an proceed called a “Flipped Script” where normalized sayings and governmental expectations of women (and men) are topsy-turvy and “flipped” to get us all to “rethink” and “rewrite” a gender narratives.

As a refresher for a discussions today, given don’t we pass KOD’s post by a Pepper Flipping Test:

Just got off a phone with my crony and sister, Grace Dumelo… My sister’s indeed removing married and I’m invited! Unbelievably loyal oo!

Handsome Man too
Got me wondering given many WOMEN in a open eye settle for quiet/unknown MEN and not a ONES ALL OVER

That could be a doctrine for some of a BROTHERS ooo

WOMEN wish MEN who can MAKE A HOME and not be ALL OVER

I wish them good and can’t wait to see them on Saturday

(Emphasis all mine).
In a arise of Pepper Dem Ministries, this was one book we were unequivocally ardent about; that deeply discouraging bent to theme each singular girl/woman to a matrimony test, thereby fixation women’s value in matrimony and domestic affairs, in a proceed that doesn’t play out same for men. Kindly note, this wouldn’t even be as most cryptic as it is, were it same for men.

This imbalanced expectancy of creation women aspire to matrimony is given there will always be a daunting imbalance in a establishment from a conflict given it has been finished to meant some-more to one celebration (women) than it does for a other (men).

And so it is that a lady can be anything in this world, though if she isn’t married, she isn’t entirely lady yet, or isn’t value elementary honour or accorded mentorship standing for younger women. And notwithstanding a woman’s achievements, if she doesn’t honour herself in domestic affairs or plan that side of her more, she doesn’t acquire a honour of society. So for many Ghanaian women, a lives and existence sojourn a life-long “audition” for marriage. And given Pepper Dem Ministries is here to assistance we bond a dots, here are some by-products of this governmental expectation:

  1. Women finish adult dimming their lights so not to seem intimidating to organisation in society.
  2. Women are forced to lower their standards to accommodate a common and overly uncomplicated expectations of organisation in a society.
  3. Women, some-more than men, tend to give up equally fulfilling feats such as aloft educational achievements and career opportunities, usually to seem “marriageable” to men.
  4. Finally, this feeds into a culture of silence on domestic assault and abuse given women are pressured to continue all demeanour of things in their marriages to say a “Mrs” pretension and married status.

These might sound a bit too off-the-chain for what appears as a elementary “opinion,” though that is accurately given Pepper Dem Ministries exists. We are here to pull connectors between a poisonous mindsets/opinions and how they capacitate and figure incomparable socio-cultural issues that are of outrageous courtesy to Gender advocates not usually in Ghana, though a star over.

It is critical to note, that KOD is not alone in his thoughts. Inasmuch as many have come out fiercely to set him straight, there was also a sizeable series of commentators who possibly “agreed” with his criticism or “didn’t see anything wrong” with his views and how it denigrates women.

It doesn’t come too most of a warn as KOD and his sympathizers are all handling within a proportions of Patriarchy; a socialization that teaches and enforces a “domination” of organisation and “suppression” of women; conditions girls to cringe themselves to acquire validation from men; and binds women to aloft dignified standards than men.

This is accurately given KOD, a masculine who stays “scarred” from featuring in a barbarous passionate confront between KKD and that 19year old, can even have a forwardness to offer any form of attribute recommendation to Ghanaian women. If we hold organisation obliged for their actions, there is no proceed he should even have a pursuit that still puts him in a open eye.

Also unequivocally worrying, is how he even positions himself, John Dumelo and his co-worker masculine open total who have, compartment date, some-more scandals than Kim Kardashian, Bill Cosby and R Kelly combined; as some kind of beacons that women need to aspire to, thereby cementing a fact that:

  1. The actions (or inactions) of organisation have unequivocally small repercussions on their lives/reputations. Men pierce on fast from scandals in many ways that women can’t!
  1. In a multitude organisation are seen as default “marriage materials” and so don’t have to put in any work to validate for it as men’s value are judged by their veteran outlay and achievements some-more than how they select to “use” their bodies or with whom they select to “sleep with.”

Otherwise, in what star is KOD a some-more honest chairman than his womanlike colleagues in a industry? How does an “all over a place” masculine like himself, get to have an opinion on how women should live their lives? How is he of all people, some-more honourable of loyal love, a true partner and a jointly benefitting and lenient relationship/marriage than singular women in Ghana?

IN WHAT SANE UNIVERSE IS THIS VALID?!
And let’s not forget, this is a same man who reached Nana Aba Anamoah’s hips live and on theatre in another uninspired fun to discern either or not her hips were real.

This, and many some-more reasons are given we insist it is time for a common re-orientation of mindsets given KOD and his mount of “educated” and “exposed” organisation who might mostly times even seem “sensitive” to a means continue to infer that there is still a lot of work to be done.

As an agenda, we have mostly and widely faced many uncalled-for defamation even amidst several provocations, and this box investigate is also a good time to display a hypocrisies as a people.

It was unequivocally engaging to see people who against a proceed of “Pepper” aka “fierce rebuttals” to drag KOD in a same manner. This goes to show, that a proceed was never a problem; a law and summary of Pepper Dem Ministries that subjects each singular opinion to severe inspection is what many couldn’t stand. The law is always uncomfortable, usually like pepper!

There are many who still doubt a import of online advocacy and onslaught to import a intensity impact though to such, we wish a past integrate of days get we to re-assess this stance:

  1. For a initial time in a prolonged while, people didn’t call on feminists to come and “handle” a situation. They took it adult themselves, armed with wording that a unequivocally honest courtesy will infer usually flush in a past integrate of months from a severe egghead debates amicable media feminists have sustained.
  1. Secondly, one of a core beliefs and goals is to safeguard a “Gender Sensitive” and “Gender Responsive” environment. And as we can see, a severe debates have helped impact people’s discretion on gender commentaries. Even a “dear” Manasseh Azure Awuni attested to this explain in his new missive to Christiane Amanpour. Although his biases coined it as some kind of “right” and “privilege” feminists have somehow attacked organisation off. But afterwards again, it is “Manasseh,” and his stupidity on gender issues no longer amazes me.

In retrospect, it will be useful for us to see gender stereotypes for what they unequivocally are: they are HYPOCRITICAL in their double-binds and double standards; they are DANGEROUS; they DISCOURAGE a use of CONSCIENCE and courtesy for BASIC HUMAN RESPECT given people turn usually guided by what multitude accepts, condones or gives them a pass for. And given we are aiming for a JUST and EQUAL society, we can no longer risk dabbling in them. Gender stereotypes are rabble and need to be kept distant behind us!

You can follow a work of Pepper Dem Ministries by fondness and following a central Facebook page during Pepper Dem Ministries or follow a conversations underneath a hashtag, #PepperDemMinistries

Also join us unlearn poisonous gender narratives by tuning in to a speak uncover on Class fm 91.3 each Thursday during 7pm.

The tour stays forward!
The Writer, Efe Plange is a Ghanaian blogger and amicable media enthusiast. She is a first member of a Pepper Dem Ministries with keen seductiveness in gender discussions. Connect with Efe Plange on amicable media.

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